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Matthew Watches The Room 13: Lisa Misses Mark, Mark Doesn’t Know Why

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We have a short, transitional scene in The Room this week. Lisa calls Mark, who makes this face for the entire scene.

It is a riveting scene.

It is a riveting scene.

The conversation does not get off to a great start, but not for the reason you might expect! Maybe. Do you even expect things anymore at this point in The Room? Is that the right verb?

Lisa: I miss you.
Mark: I just saw you. What are you talking about?

Oh, Tommy Wiseau. Only you can make such extreme, antisocial cold-heartedness so hilarious. Usually the audience is laughing too much at that line to catch the next few lines of Seductive Lisa, but have no fear! They’re as hilarious as you would ever hope for!

Lisa: I just wanted to hear your sexy voice. I keep thinking about your strong hands on my body. It excites me so much. I love you.

Wow, that all escalated quickly! Sexy voice? Strong hands? Love? That’s a lot to take! How does Mark react to all of this?

Mark: Is Johnny there?
Lisa: He’s… in the shower.
Mark: (Sighs) I don’t understand you. Why do you do things like this?
Lisa: Because I love you. You just don’t care, do you?

That may not be the biggest problem Mark has with his illicit affair with his best friend’s back-stabbing fiance, but, you know, if that seems like a logical direction to take this conversation in to you…

Mark: I do care. But… we agreed! It’s over between us.
Lisa: I understand. It’s our secret. But I still have feelings for you! You just don’t care!
Mark: God! I do care!

Okay, is this going to keep going on like this? Because… I have things to do… This sounds like it could take a while.

Lisa: I have to go now.

Oh, good!

Lisa: I’ll see you later, darling.

So… they didn’t agree to meet up again for sexytimes, much less, you know, meet up. Maybe she’s just talking about the next time they all hang out with all their friends? And also calling him darling? Maybe? Let’s see if that’s how Mark interpreted it.

Mark: (monotone) Don’t call me that.

maybe? How does Lisa respond to his unquestionably stern dismissal?

Lisa: (cheerful) Okay, bye!

Well, this is a crapshoot.



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