I know that four books in I shouldn’t be amazed by this anymore, but how Sylvia Day can write 60+ page chapters wherein almost nothing happens is incredible to me. I suppose E.L. James and Veronica Roth share this rare and horrifying talent, but my awe stands.

Captivated by You Chapter 11: Gideon

Brett Kline, still present in this story for completely inexplicable reasons, shows up at Gideon’s office demanding to see Eva.

My fingers twitched, the habit of extending my hand in greeting ruthlessly suppressed. The singer’s hands had touched my wife intimately in the past … and recently. I didn’t want to shake them. I wanted to break them.

Such restraint not shaking hands or breaking them.

Seriously, though, when did Brett’s hands “recently” touch Eva? Does Gideon mean just in the sense of giving her a hug or something?

Brett seems to be surprised that Eva isn’t there, why he’s surprised, I’m not sure. Gideon’ never explains if he lured Brett there with false promises of Eva also being around, or if Brett doesn’t understand that after work, Eva is probably at home.

“Kline smiled coldly. “You can’t keep me from her.”

“You did that all by yourself.” I noted the worn Pete’s T-shirt he was wearing with black jeans and leather boots. Without a doubt, his choice of attire wasn’t a coincidence. He wanted to remind Eva of their history together.

I mean, he didn’t actually do it all by himself, Gideon was definitely a contributor to this. Also, Eva did make the choice to stop seeing him.

Gideon has arranged this meeting with Brett not to murder him as you’re all probably expecting, but to try to acquire his copy of the sex tape.

“Sam told me you were going to try this. That tape is none of your business. It’s between me and Eva.”

“And the entire world if it leaks, and that would destroy her. Does that matter to you at all, how she feels about it?”

“It’s not going to leak, and of course I give a shit about how she feels. It’s one of the reasons we need to talk.”

I nodded. “You want to ask her what you can use. You think you can talk her into letting you exploit some of it.”

[…]

“It’s not all sex. There’s some good stuff of us hanging out. Her and I, we had something. She wasn’t just a lay to me.

Don’t worry, everyone, he only wants to use the PG versions of the sex tape – it would be like if Tommy Lee had said to Pamela Anderson, “Don’t worry, there are just some awesome scenes of us on the yacht I really want to show people.” IT’S STILL WEIRD! (Side note: I have no idea why I knew there was a boat involved in that tape, but I had to think of searches that would help me fact check this while also protecting me from ever seeing Tommy Lee’s penis. HARD PASS.)

Next, Brett tries to attack the legitimacy of Gideon and Eva’s marriage, but Gideon came prepared for just that question? And he actually pulls out a photo taken of the exact moment they’re pronounced man and wife, and also their wedding license. FOILED AGAIN, KLINE!

Gideon gets angrier and angrier with Brett as he refuses to sell the tape to Gideon. I’m with Gideon on this one, I can understand why the thought of Brett still watching the sex tape (which he very clearly does like 40 times a day at least) would be infuriating for a billion reasons.

They argue some more until Brett storms out, and Gideon places a call “via a secure line” BUM BUM BUM.

“Did I give you enough time?”

“Yes. We took care of the laptop and tablet in his luggage as soon as you took him upstairs. We’re handling his e-mail and backup provider servers as we speak, and the backups to those servers. We searched his residence over the weekend, but he hasn’t been there in weeks. We cleaned everything on both Yimara and Kline’s equipment, as well as the accounts and equipment of those who received teasers of the full-length footage. One of the execs at Vidal had a full copy on his hard drive, but we wiped it. We found no evidence that he forwarded it anywhere.”

Ice slid through my veins. “Which executive?”

“Your brother.”

Ug, Christopher is just the worst.

Gideon’s “private military security firm” think they’re cleared the threat but they’re still going to keep looking for any possible hard copies in existence.

We jump to later that night with Ireland (Gideon’s sister) hanging out with Gideon and Eva. There’s so little to write about here, that the filler is just filler for filler of Ireland not knowing how to use chopsticks properly and Gideon trying to learn how to be a big brother…with the power of banter.

“Ha! Look at that,” Ireland crowed, holding up a tiny bit of orange chicken, which she promptly ate. “Made it to my mouth.”

I swallowed the wine in my glass in a single gulp, wanting to say something. My mind raced with options, all of which sounded insincere and contrived. In the end what came out was, “The chopsticks have a large target. Ups your chances.”

There are still 48 pages left of this god damned chapter.

Because chopsticks and awkwardly forced brotherly banter aren’t exciting enough – Eva and Ireland start talking about Channing Tatum. Man, I sure hope they tell me their thoughts about One Direction next.

Gideon doesn’t want to risk sleeping that night in case he has a nightmare and Ireland overhears him freaking out. Ireland catches him up and they chat for awhile, with Ireland telling Gideon that her father is staying in a hotel and can Gideon please talk to his mother tomorrow to find out what’s going on. Then they watch a movie.

The next morning, Gideon and Eva have sex because there really was just not enough filler for this chapter, and for some reason it had to be more than 60 pages.

I feel like this might be incredibly annoying foreshadowing, though, so I’ll include it:

Eva and I had used condoms only twice. Before her, I’d never fucked a woman without one. Avoiding pregnancy was something I’d religiously adhered to.

Yet since those first two times with Eva, we’d gone bare, relying on her birth control to prevent conception.
It was a risk. I knew that. And considering how often I had her—at least two, sometimes three or four times a day—the risk was not inconsiderable.”

Let’s start placing bets on when Eva will get pregnant!

I thought of it sometimes. I questioned my control, my selfishness in putting my own pleasure above the consequences. But the reason for my recklessness wasn’t as simple as pleasure. If it were, I could deal. Be responsible.

No, it was much more complicated.

The need to come inside her was primitive. It was a conquest and surrender in one.

That is possibly the most uncomplicated reason I could have expected aside from, “No, it was much more complicated. I just didn’t feel like it.”

MORE FORESHADOWING:

“I wanted to come inside her. Wanted it enough to consider the risk—as terrifying as it was—acceptable.”

No, seriously, tell me your guess in the comments about when she’s gonna get pregnant. I actually haven’t read ahead in this book yet, so I feel like it could even happen at the end of this one!

Later that day, they drive Ireland home, and Gideon’s mother asks Gideon and even Eva to come inside the house.

“I’d like to apologize to both of you. I haven’t handled the news of your engagement well and I’m sorry about that. This should be a happy time for our family, and I’m afraid I’ve been too worried about losing my son to appreciate it.”

I don’t know, you guys, I don’t trust her.

To be fair, though, maybe she really is just trying to make peace, but man has she always come across as a majorly horrendous bitch. I know Eva isn’t 100% reliable, but I do get the feeling Gideon’s mom is one of those people who will change her behaviour in front of Gideon, but as soon as he leaves the room she’ll be an asshole to Eva again.

During the car ride back, Eva and Gideon fight because Eva and Gideon fight always. I really won’t bore you with too many details, but Eva is mad Gideon never got around to telling her about what his mother said to him about Eva. Then he turns it around because she never told him about Brett texting her. JESUS CHRIST, JUST TELL EACH OTHER EVERY SINGLE DETAIL OF YOUR DAY SO WE NEVER HAVE TO READ THESE KIND OF ARGUMENTS AGAIN, PLEASE.

Anyway, Eva threatens to withhold sex (please, do so) for a week, and Gideon’s response is barf-worthy as usual:

My arms crossed, too. “We’ve already talked about issuing ultimatums like that. You can bitch at me all you like, Eva, but I’ll have you when I want you. Period.

Anyway, they come to a resolution because Gideon points out that nothing his mother says about Eva really changes anything at all, and that he doesn’t want to hear if Cary and Eva’s father say anything bad about him. No one cares, but thanks for clearing that up, you two.

Anyway, mercifully this chapter is over, and now we can start discussing when Eva is going to have a baby.