Murder Most Fowl: The KFC Dating Sim Episode 13 FINALE
THE FINAL EPISODE. All your questions about I Love You, Colonel Sanders! are answered. Do you smooch Colonel Sanders? Do you and Colonel Sanders end up together forever? What happens in the secret...
View ArticleWorry Until Page 3: Goosebumps – Secret Agent Grandma #1
As Matthew and I continue to discuss time constraints and project interests, one thing is clear: HALLOWEEN TRADITIONS ARE SACRED TO US! Reader beware, you’re in for a…choose your own adventure? Yes,...
View ArticleWe Have Already Met With Our First Terrible Fate: Goosebumps – Secret Agent...
Ariel has decreed that our choice is to run away from the (checks notes) rumbling train station, where we are waiting for an approaching train. Uh huh. So it is my duty now to take the reins and hope...
View ArticleEmpleh, empleh, read all about it!: Secret Agent Grandma #3
Previously, we spotted a baffling message on one of the train windows: EMPLEH, EMPLEH. Matthew has decided it’s time to turn to page 129 and get some help figuring out what this means. I can only...
View ArticleTeLl Me AbOuT tHe RoSe GaRdEn: Goosebumps – Secret Agent Grandma #4
Previously in Secret Agent Grandma: We’ve had two bad endings so far from 1) not figuring out the riddle that “EMPLEH” is “help me” backwards, and 2) not figuring out that the loud noises approaching...
View ArticleInvasive Cab Driver is the Hero We Deserve: Goosebumps – Secret Agent Grandma #5
Previously, the weirdly overinvested and, frankly, INVASIVE cab driver suggests that we open my grandmother’s luggage to find out why it’s so heavy. Matthew forced my hand and told me to turn to page...
View ArticleMy Friends Want Brownies, I Want ESPIONAGE: Goosebumps – Secret Agent Grandma #6
So I see we died again. I like how so far this Goosebumps choose your own adventure book is like a fucking morality play. Or, like… a common sense play. No branching paths AT ALL. We have literally...
View ArticleGasp and Turn to Page 103: Goosebumps – Secret Agent Grandma #7
I decide to play things cool and introduce my friends to my grandmother despite her concerning silver jumpsuit. My friends politely compliment grandma on her bizarrely colored roses. You gaze at a...
View ArticleA Very Careful Exploration of Grandma’s Death-Laden Bedroom: Goosebumps –...
HOLY SHIT, WE SURVIVED OUR FIRST EVER DECISION. Ariel decided to search grandma’s room instead of spying on her in the garden, and when I turn to that page… there’s immediately another choice!! “This...
View ArticleWhat If We Just Ask Grandma What’s Up: Goosebumps – Secret Agent Grandma #9
Grandma shows up while my friends and I are snooping in her room. I realize now that overly invasive cab driver would have loved to be included in this snoop session, and I feel bad there was no option...
View ArticleGrandma is an Alien! (For Real This Time): Goosebumps – Secret Agent Grandma #10
Ariel has decided, between the two options of A) ask obviously evil imposter grandma who has killed us a few times in different timelines what’s going on here, and B) wait until the meteor shower and...
View ArticleWe Wave Unplugged CD and MP3 Players At Aliens Until They Die: Goosebumps –...
I have to say, I think Matthew’s thought-process for the last choice was brilliant. It’s so deeply ingrained in us that figures of authority in horror either can’t save the day, refuse to save the day,...
View ArticleBut What If…: Goosebumps – Secret Agent Grandma WRAP-UP EXTRAVAGANZA
Last post, in true Choose Your Own Adventure fashion, we achieved a good ending where we saved the world, albeit in a mildly anticlimactic kind of way that makes us immediately wonder, huh, so, how did...
View ArticleNeoliberal Double Feature: Chapter 1 (and Chapter 1 ONLY) of Ready Player...
My dear readers, I simply cannot read Ready Player Two. Thanks to Armada, Ernest Cline’s other nostalgia-porn bildungsroman about a teenage boy who suddenly becomes one of the most important people on...
View Articlewtf is pedro páramo
Hello, dear readers. It’s lovely to say hello to you again! Letting you know upfront, this is not a Bad Books Good Times revival, just a new project, but it’s one I think might be up your alley. Today...
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