Zoey had a dream that alllll zombie ghosts would be treated as actual plot points and not just cast aside. A dream that all ugly losers would be judged not by their losery appearance, but by the fact that they are an evil zombie ghost.
Also immediately before the start of this chapter, Zoey puked because she just found out that Heath has gone missing. We’re off to a great start! [Matthew says: It's not House of Night unless puke, pee, or poopie is involved.]
Chapter 26
“Here, Zoey, it’ll help if you swish this around in your mouth.” Blindly I took whatever Erin handed me, relieved when it was just cold water. I spit it into the nasty bowl of puke.
That is a terrible way to live life. “Blindly I took whatever the random guy at the party handed me, relieved when my drink wasn’t drugged.” I know, I know she’s accepting something from her friend, but Erin is kind of an idiot. Also, we’ve never been explicitly told that Erin hasn’t drugged anyone against their will before, so you can never be too careful. [Matthew says: In the interest of being fair to Zoey, I read this as "at least it's just cold water and not the brown pop that I drink all the time past the point where it's a strange, overused detail to a weirdly forced running joke, like her Feelings, except it's a not-particularly-accurate generic description of a drink that's really pretty bad for you". You know, to be fair.]
Zoey says she needs to go talk to Neferet, but first she needs some mouthwash. I’d make a joke about priorities, but I’m sure we all get where she’s coming from. [Matthew says: At least she doesn't prioritize life-or-death stakes behind going to a party, like she actually did that one time in the last book.] She excuses herself from her friends to go see..
No, Zoey does not go to get a falafel wrap even though that sounds totally amazing right now. She does actually make a completely logical decision to go consult Aphrodite on her vision.
Zoey asks Aphrodite how she knows she’s actually having a vision and not just a dream. God, Zoey, just check the Vampyre Wiki-How section.
“It’s a feeling [Matthew says: Naturally.] in your gut. Visions are never easy or comfortable or fucking flower-draped like they are in the movies. Visions suck. At least real ones do. Basically, if it makes you feel like shit, it’s probably real and not just a dream.”
I feel like unless you’re watching That’s So Raven, a lot of visions aren’t portrayed like what Aphrodite is describing.
Okay, that doesn’t look so much like a flowery dream as it does a psychedelic freak out.
Also, why the fuck do I keep talking about Disney Channel shows that I’ve only seen a couple times? I have no idea what’s going on with me these days. It’s a cry for help, really.
And then there is a scene that I actually like. It’s all thanks to Aphrodite, you guys, who is the true star of this series. If someone said to me, “Oh, Ariel, okay the first House of Night books are such shit. Utter and complete trash. Until book three where Zoey dies and Aphrodite becomes the real main character and suddenly all the other poor storytelling or dialogue or, even worse, text messages just fade away. It’s truly amazing.” I might actually be inclined to believe them.
Anyway, the scene happens after Aphrodite is basically like “Oh, you’re having visions? That sounds like a personal problem.” Zoey asks Aphrodite why she warned her against drinking Neferet’s Kool Aid.
Aphrodite looked away. “My first roommate died six months after she got here. I took the medicine. It—it affected me. For a long time.”
“What do you mean? How did it affect you?”
“It made me feel funny, detached. And it stopped my visions. Not permanently, just for a couple of weeks. And then it was hard for me to even remember what she looked like.” Aphrodite paused. “Venus. Her name was Venus Davis.” Her eyes met mine again. “She was the reason I chose Aphrodite as my new name. We were best friends and we thought it was cool.” Her eyes were filled with sadness. “I’ve made myself remember Venus, and I figured you’d want to remember Stevie Rae.”
You guys. That is so much more selfless and kind than anything Zoey has ever done. Fucking Aphrodite, man. That was really heartwarming! [Matthew says: I also rather liked this scene! Remember when we were all "Wow, she named herself Aphrodite? SO SUBTLE!" But now instead of being a cartoonishly bad (or - if I may pen an expression - Castian) character flaw, IT IS EMOTIONS WHAAAAAT]
Zoey and Aphrodite agree that Zoey should probably leave now before anyone (Neferet) finds out about this conversation, so Zoey heads off as Aphrodite warns her that not everything light is good and not everything dark is bad. OMG NYX SAID THIS B4 TOO!! Could it mean something???
When Zoey and her crew go to talk to Neferet, two detectives are there and they want to talk about Heath. Zoey goes to talk with them privately and voluntarily shows them her earlier texts with Heath. Neferet walks in and is pissed:
“Zoey, you know it is strictly against school rules to continue to date humans from your old life.” I noticed, as if for the first time, the disgust that filled her voice when she said humans.
I really truly hope that the school policy is written verbatim. Rule 400 Section XI: You shall not continue to date humans from your old life. You may eat a fish taco in their company, but it is only in order to permanently end the relationship. If it is a Thursday after 7 pm you may eat a falafel wrap instead of a fish taco provided the woman who owns the food truck sells it to you. We have a very strict contract to uphold with her. [Matthew says: Ariel, I'm starting to think you were really hungry when you wrote this post.]
Neferet keeps trying to cut in and get the detectives to leave, but Zoey keeps interrupting her and being super forthcoming with information to them. It’s pretty amusing, especially when Zoey tells the detectives about her vision, and Neferet is Super Pissed.
Into the stunned silence Neferet’s voice sounded clipped and harsh. “Zoey, you have never before manifested an affinity for prophecy or visions.”
Come on, Neferet, haven’t you been living this book? Zoey has an affinity for fucking everything. Even the food truck lady hates her because she has an affinity for making cheap and delicious food and selling it in a convenient location.
One of the detectives stops to talk to Zoey before he leaves.
“My twin sister was Marked and Changed fifteen years ago,” he said softly. “She and I are still close, even though she was supposed to forget her human family. So when I say you can call me anytime, and tell me anything, you can believe me. You can also trust me.”
Aw, that was really nice too! Best chapter of this book so far. But before you all start leaving the blog, shaking your heads in disappointment:
“Did you Imprint with Heath?”
I had an instant of cold, white panic. She was going to be able to read me. I’d been fooling myself. There was no way I was any kind of a match for this High Priestess. Then I felt the brush of a gentle, impossible breeze … the warmth of an invisible fire .. . the freshness of a spring rain … the green sweetness of a fertile meadow … and the powerful infilling of elemental strength flowing into my spirit. With new confidence I met Neferet’s eyes.
Earth! Fire! Wind! Water! Heart!
Zoey has the affinity for summoning Captain Planet alone.
Anyway, Zoey convinces Neferet that she didn’t Imprint with Heath and that she totally drank the medicine Neferet gave her. Neferet goes into mom-mode and hugs Zoey before she goes.
Actually, she was exactly like a mom, specifically my mom, Linda Heffer. The woman who had betrayed me for a man and cared more about herself and appearances than she cared about me. The similarities between Neferet and Linda were becoming clearer and clearer.
If we’d read more than a chapter or two of Zoey’s mother, maybe I’d understand the comparison aside from, “They both suck,” but Neferet isn’t choosing a man over Zoey… she’s just evil. Intentionally, knowingly evil. Zoey’s mom just sounds dumb.
EDIT: Forgot to ask you guys a question!
If you had to hang out with a character for HoN for a day, who would it be and why?
Tagged: books, Excerpts, Funny, House of Night, Humor, YA, Zoey Redbird
