OMG WILL TOBIAS SHOOT TRIS THUS ENDING THEIR LOVE STORY AND THIS SERIES?!?!
Chapter 39
The shot doesn’t come. He stares at me with the same ferocity but doesn’t move. Why doesn’t he shoot me? His heart pounds against my palm, and my own heart lifts. He is Divergent. He can fight this simulation. Any simulation.
That is a really weirdly specific gene to have been gifted with. “Well, I wasn’t born with a high IQ or anything, but what I can tell you is that I could certainly break free of literally any simulation no matter how strong the serum!”
No better time than now for a teenage makeout sesh.
Something like a sob and a sigh and a moan escapes him, and he kisses me again.
What is it with these books and the strange noises they try to describe? Everyone is always letting out these complex noises that always seem to be a combination of sounds that are probably at odds with one another. Please try sobbing/moaning/sighing at the same time. The sigh just doesn’t work! [Matthew says: I tried it just now and it came out like a walrus noise? And then I remembered I'm in Grand Central Station.]
“How did you do it?” I say.
“I don’t know,” he says. “I just heard your voice.”
I’m not buying this moment. Right now the sound I’m making is something like barfing, laughing, whinnying, and singing opera to express just how little I believe in this moment.
Tobias, who somehow is an expert in computer programming, which I highly doubt is taught MORE in dystopian America than in today’s America. Is Insurgent just going to be about Four starting his own startup company that creates an App that’s basically Tinder but exclusive to each faction? I don’t even know what that would be called. This is why I’ll never be able to start my own company! [Matthew says: Instead of swiping left or right, you choose cheese or a knife! Nobody ever knows what they're actually deciding.]
On one of the security cameras, Tris sees that Dauntless guards are surrounding her crew, but Four is able to stop the simulation in the knick of time, whew.
But maybe I spoke too soon!
“I have to get the data,” he says, “or they’ll just start the simulation again.”
What the ever loving fuck does that even mean? My day job is all about working with data, and this is complete nonsense. I hope Four is going to quickly access Google Analytics to find some serious patterns in the data! Otherwise, we’ll have to start from the top. [Matthew says: Does this book seriously not know the difference between a program and data? Because that is exactly what is happening?]
Really, it sounds like Four is downloading the evil code [Matthew says: data], and he does this in under a page, so it was clearly not very fucking difficult to do at all, which is even more unbelievable.
Tris reunites with her brother.
“Caleb runs to me when I walk through the doors, and I fall against him. He holds me tightly.
“Dad?” he says.
I just shake my head.
“Well,” he says, almost choking on the word, “he would have wanted it that way.”
He would have wanted it what way?
This line would have made sense if Tris had explained that her father died protecting her, but in this case it just sounds like he wanted to die.
The book ends fairly quietly. Four is reluctantly reunited with his father, who continues to continues to be described in the laziest way possible.
“Stay away,” I hiss.
“Beatrice, what are you doing?” asks Caleb.
“Tris,” Tobias says.
Marcus gives me a scandalized look that seems false to me—his eyes are too wide and his mouth is too open. If I could find a way to smack that look off his face, I would.
At this rate, Marcus could tell us his favourite flavour of ice-cream is chocolate, and Tris would be like, “I couldn’t believe a word he said about the ice-cream. His eye twitched just slightly as he told me.”
They start heading to Amity to find protection for the time being, and on the way Four tells Tris he loves her. The passionately make-out with Caleb sitting across from them, probably feeling deeply uncomfortable.
Are you guys excited for Insurgent? We’re starting it tomorrow, so I hope you are!
Tagged: books, Divergent, Excerpts, Funny, Humor, Tris Prior
