Allegiant Chapter 41: Tris

The chapter opens with a really peculiar and nonsensical juxtaposition:

I stand next to a mop in a storage room in the basement; I stand in the wake of what I just told everyone, which is that whoever breaks into the Weapons Lab will be going on a suicide mission. The death serum is unstoppable.

One of those things is significantly more dramatic than the other. WHY DID I NEED TO KNOW SHE IS STANDING NEXT TO A MOP?

The gang wonders if it’s worth sacrificing one person’s life to potentially save thousands as Tris stands next to a mop. I hope that bit of detail is really bringing to life this scene for you.

Tris struggles to come to grips with the fact that one life could be sacrificed and it could be one of theirs, but whose???

“One life against thousands of memories, of course the answer is easy, but does it have to be one of our lives? Do we have to be the ones who act?

But because I know what my answer will be to that question, my thoughts turn to another question. If it has to be one of us, who should it be?

My eyes shift from Matthew and Cara, standing behind the table, to Tobias, to Christina, her arm slung over a broom handle, and land on Caleb.

Him.

Just to throw another obvious choice out there – Peter. Obviously it should be Peter. Because PETER.

Caleb is like, “Obviously you want it to be me, and so does everyone because I suck.” He does not point out that Peter is also pretty bad. For some reason Tris is like, “No, but I had Tobias save you before, so I care.” But she’s still thinking that she kind of wants him to die.

Caleb says he’s going to be the one to do it, and if he does he hopes Tris will finally forgive him. I actually think that’s pretty sweet, but my stands for this series are abysmally low.

Tris grapples some more with this huge decision and wonders if she should let Caleb volunteer for a suicide mission because he feels guilty, just like she had volunteered for a suicide mission when she felt overwhelmed by guilt. Let’s just send Peter and call it a day, everyone!

Tobias comes to talk to Tris and he tries to comfort her with an old Abnegation belief, which makes absolutely no fucking sense when you think about everything we know about Abnegation:

“About when to let others sacrifice themselves for you, even if it’s selfish. They say that if the sacrifice is the ultimate way for that person to show you that they love you, you should let them do it.” He leans one shoulder into the wall. “That, in that situation, it’s the greatest gift you can give them. Just as it was when both of your parents died for you.”

How often does this even come up? Are Abnegations just constantly sacrificing themselves for one another in the name of their home-made muffins?

Tobias and Tris have a sweet moment where he thanks her for never worrying for a second that he was genetically damaged and believing he was whole.

“No one has ever told me that before,” he says softly.

“It’s what you deserve to hear,” I say firmly, my eyes going cloudy with tears. “That you’re whole, that you’re worth loving, that you’re the best person I’ve ever known.”

So of course it’s time for Tobias and Tris to bone. Unlike Fifty Shades, the Divergent series doesn’t contain porn (mercifully.) But it does get kind of weird:

I forget that he is another person; instead it feels like he is another part of me, just as essential as a heart or an eye or an arm. I pull his shirt up and over his head. I run my hands over the skin I expose like it is my own.

…What? Don’t you normally run your fingers over your own skin is like completely non sexual, uninteresting ways? It feels like you’re going about this wrong, Tris.

Tris starts feeling really insecure and ugly, “A moment ago I was convinced that we were perfectly matched, and maybe we still are – but only with our clothes on.” I hate that, in an attempt to embody a realistic person, all of these female protagonists have to be so insecure about their bodies and think the men they’re sleeping with are soooo out of their league. This adds nothing to Tris’ character, she doesn’t have to be vulnerable in this way for us to relate to her. Like, “Oh, even in the midst of all this high-stakes drama she’s still just a teen girl who is like so insecure about her flat-chest and pale skin.” I’m sorry, but I don’t buy that anymore with Tris. In the first book, sure, but surely we’re past that now.

But of course as soon as Tobias is like, “You’re beautiful” she’s like “Omg I believe him.” And teen girls everywhere start to tear up and wish they could find their own Tobias ;_;

The sex is heavily implied, but that’s all as explicit as it gets, and the chapter ends with Tris telling us how strong she is #inspirational.

Allegiant Chapter 42: Tobias

Ah, the morning after. Where Tris tells Tobias they have lots to do, and he’s like MOAR SEX.

The scene jumps ahead pretty abruptly to the gang training Caleb to shoot a gun. I guess just in case he encounters resistance during his suicide mission? IDK.

I have no fucking idea why this scene is so detailed. Like there is excessive detail about them training Caleb. SKIIIIP.

Oh my god seriously, it won’t end. Tobias is just bragging about what a great shot he is and trying to teach Caleb. Then Tris is also super awesome and great at shooting and shows Caleb how she does it. I am sort of sorry if this is important later, but I am not fucking summarising this to a more detailed degree. You’re welcome.

Tris and Tobias also make out because they’re reminiscing about one time that he touched her during gun practice. Woah mama, things are sure heating up in this post today.

Things continue to move at a weirdly quick pace given the book never moves beyond a turtle’s pace:

There isn’t much to do after target practice but wait. Tris and Christina get the explosives from Reggie and teach Caleb how to use them. Then Matthew and Cara pore over a map, examining different routes to get through the compound to the Weapons Lab. Christina and I meet with Amar, George, and Peter to go over the route we’re going to take through the city that evening. Tris is called to a last-minute council meeting. Matthew inoculates people against the memory serum all throughout the day, Cara and Caleb and Tris and Nita and Reggie and himself.

Jesus, imagine if loads of the book had been told that quickly? We could have just had one book!

Tobias goes to see Uriah one last time, but it’s actually just an excuse to get him alone with Matthew, so Matthew can explain his backstory and why he’s helping them on their mission. He’s doing it FOR LOVE. Because there was once a genetically damaged girl who he wasn’t supposed to love, but he did. One day a bunch of genetically pure people beat her up, but they got off easy because they said the attack was provoked. She died a year later undergoing surgery I guess on injuries she sustained when they beat her up.

That is super sad and all, but this seems like a weird time to suddenly be asking Matthew for his stake in all of this. Also like of course it has to be for love because no one has any other motivations ever.

Tobias is like, “Wow, it was surprising to see another side of Matthew.” And the chapter ends with Matthew like whistling as he walks down the hall. The fuck?