Even though search engines (I AM LOOKING AT YOU GOOGLE, WITH YOUR NEW WEIRD LOGO) have made it really hard to collect data on what search terms bring people to your website, you still have access to some of that data. Thank fuck we do because some of the searches that lead folks to BBGT are amazing. Here are some of the ones that have brought me much joy lately:

Weird Searches Ahoy!

1. “how to do ombre nails” You made a wrong turn somewhere on the internet. We are not teenage YouTube sensations.
2. “Zoey and Loren porn”  I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed.
   
3. “best sex scene ever” We don’t have access to that kind of information here.
4. “clips of hard dick moving without hands”
   
5. “hyde dating megumi fanfic” I don’t meant to read too much into this, but is there someone out there looking for a really specific Fifty Shades/Crossfire crossover fanfic which pairs Jack Hyde with Megumi? Who out there was like, “Now those two would make a great couple”?
6. “jared grey cock size” Who is this person and why do you think we know anything about his penis?
7. “why ana called her baby blip” because she is a moron.
8. “the host fanfic condoms” always practice safe fanfic reading.
9. “youre all horrible”
   
10. “romantic shy virgin honeymoon story written in chapters of american” This is the most patriotic thing I have ever read.
11. “what is gideon cross’s personality type” ASSHOLE.
12. “good time book” No. Go somewhere else.
13. “insurgent movie doesn’t make sense” I love you.
14. “what really happens in the bathroom in the fifty shades of grey book”
    
15. “us bank address for chapter 13 notice” Oh that sounds like an important one. I hope they actually found the bank address. And also enjoyed the blog.

    And one last one for the road:

16. “the mention of orange juice in the fifty shades books” We definitely know about the orange juice mention!
    

Check out some of the other weird searches from previous posts. If you guys enjoy these, I’ll try to start posting more frequently as there are always so many gems.