I know, I know, finally. This book has been so rough to read that creating a drinking game based around it is as obvious a solution as eating a sandwich when you’re hungry or buying new underwear when it’s time to do laundry. Fear not, Matt and I have finally come to our senses and created a drinking game. This is what we went to college for!
The sad thing is, it’s not too late in the game at all to create the drinking game. We’ve still got over two hundred pages left of this shit to read (and if you’ve just started reading our posts on The Host this will certainly come in handy), so let’s add some booze into the mix and have ourselves some fun! Without further ado, the game!
Drink every time…
1) There’s a tour of the cave.
2) A new room in the cave is revealed (drink again if it sounds physically impossible).
3) Jeb’s gun is mentioned (drink again if it’s because Jeb’s gun isn’t actually there).
4) Wanderer and Melanie argue (drink again if it’s over Jared).
5) Jared and Ian argue (drink again if it’s over Melanie/Wanderer).
6) Wanderer ruminates on the nature of humans and whether the Souls were right to take over Earth.
7) Wanderer talks about how she doesn’t “fit in” with the other Souls.
8) Melanie mentions Jared/uses a memory of Jared to manipulate Wanderer.
9) Jamie solves a problem by being himself/adorable/pure of heart.
10) Soccer is played in the cave.
11) Someone hits Wanderer/Melanie.
12) Wanderer tells a story about one of the other worlds she’s lived on (drink again if it’s scientifically impossible).
13) Ian is creepy.
14) Kyle is a douche.
15) Jared is a douche.
16) A moral dilemma is solved in less than a page.
17) It becomes apparent that the Souls’ motivation for invading Earth is incredibly unclear/pointless.
18) Hell, just any time you have no idea what any character’s motivation is.
19) Wanderer/Melanie does a chore around the cave.
20) Wanderer/Melanie worries about Jamie or Jared.
21) Wanderer does something selfless (drink again if she acts like it isn’t a big deal (drink again if it isn’t a big deal because she’s a Soul)).
22) Stephenie Meyer makes up a new rule for how soul-human body possession works.
23) A male character says something about a female character “belonging” to him or being “his” (drink again if the word they use is her “body”).
24) An educational one! Stephenie Meyer gets the words “gender” and “sex” mixed up (drink again if Meyer writes something transphobic as a result).
25) The word “Cheetos” appears.
Apparently a sponsor of this post-alien invasion end of the human race.
26) A scene as mundane as going to sleep is detailed in an excessive amount of words (you could get blackout just playing with this rule).
27) A minor character’s physical features is described in excessive detail like we give a fuck about this person.
28) The annoying Seeker says something annoying/is mentioned/circles the cave in a helicopter.
29) Wanderer/Melanie find a new place to sleep.
30) Wanderer tells us how hard human feelings are.
Additions in the comments section are, of course, very welcome.
