The Lazy Reader’s Guide: April 25-29
It’s the first Lazy Reader’s Guide I’m writing since the website redesign! It is not all that different. Don’t worry. I figured out how to do it. Sweet Valley Confidential In New York, Elizabeth makes...
View ArticleSweet Valley Confidential Chapter 7: Elizabeth Asks Liam to Go to Grandma’s...
Elizabeth goes back to the bar to talk to Liam again (and presumably to work her way up to inviting him to go to her grandmother’s birthday party with her). It seems like this should be a really easy...
View ArticleSweet Valley Confidential Chapter 8: Jessica Almost Cheats On Todd
I just had a conversation with my roommate about how she was obsessed with Sweet Valley High when she was a kid. She was unaware that Sweet Valley Confidential existed. I also had to break the bad news...
View ArticleBeautiful Redemption Chapter 11: Thomas and Liis are Going to Start Dating…Or...
Beautiful Redemption Chapter 11 Thomas shows up at Liis’ door with coffee. His secretary, Constance, suggested Thomas do so. “I turned to him, confused. “She’s up early,” I grumbled. “Why would...
View ArticleBeautiful Redemption Chapter 12: Jackson Is So F***ing Boring
Hey, readers! A quick note about next week: we’re trying a new thing where Ariel and I get a little more time off from the blog, so we’re going to start occasionally doing weeks where only one of us...
View ArticleSweet Valley Confidential Chapter 9: Sweet Valley Homophobia
If you a) like brunch and b) live in London, you should know that I have two friends who do a brunch blog! I guest-wrote for their most recent post about Bad Egg! You can still enjoy it even if you...
View ArticleBeautiful Redemption Chapter 13: Drunk Jackson Is So F***ing Boring
No, it’s not the same thing I posted last week. This story is just that predictable. Beautiful Redemption: Chapter 13 Hey, readers. Ready for the single thing in Beautiful Redemption that has made me...
View ArticleSweet Valley Chapter 10: Bruce is in Love with Elizabeth, also Winston is Dead
I go away for one week and I come back to this shit. Matthew, you let the characters get away with too much while I was gone. Sweet Valley Confidential Chapter 10: Before we get to all the thrills...
View ArticleSweet Valley Confidential Chapter 11: Jessica and Steven Fight
Sweet Valley Confidential: Chapter 11 The chapter kicks off with Steven and Aaron making salad. Steven is now living in Aaron’s one-bedroom apartment since he lost the house to Cara in the divorce. So...
View ArticleBeautiful Redemption Chapter 14:The Most Convoluted FBI Plot in the World
This chapter is only like 14 pages, but they are 14 of the most confusing pages I have read thus far. Thomas slams some papers down on Liis’ desk, and he’s really upset that agent Groves might be...
View ArticleBeautiful Redemption Chapter 15: Liis and Thomas Fly To Chicago, Have Feelings
Before we get into today’s chapter of Beautiful Redemption, I’d like to take a moment to honor one of my favorite things on the internet, which to my amazement turned ten years old on Wednesday. I am...
View ArticleWinston’s Funeral is Actually All About The Twins’ Feelings: Sweet Valley...
Elizabeth has convinced her parents to keep it a secret from grandma, Jessica and Todd that Elizabeth is coming to the big birthday bash. Her parents agree on the condition that they only keep it a...
View ArticleSweet Valley Confidential Chapter 13: Elizabeth Finds Out
Sweet Valley Confidential: Chapter 13 The chapter starts off with an unintentionally apt metaphor for the book as a whole: “What do you think she’ll do? Do you think she’ll speak to me? To us?” Jessica...
View ArticleWelcome to Travis’ Bachelor Party! Don’t Worry, He’s Not in This Chapter:...
Beautiful Redemption Chapter 16: Taylor, one of the twin Maddox bros, greets Thomas in their native bro tongue with a, “Hey dickhead.” Jamie McGuire halfheartedly attempts to differentiate between the...
View ArticleBeautiful Redemption Chapter 17: They Get Back Together
Spoilers. Beautiful Redemption: Chapter 17 Thomas notices his dad talking to Liis and abruptly stops hugging his ex-girlfriend to see what all the fuss is about. “Did you interrogate her sufficiently...
View ArticleThe Twins’ Reunion is Anticlimatic so Far: Sweet Valley Confidential Chapter...
Sweet Valley Confidential Chapter 14, Part 1: Elizabeth is still upset that Will accused her of only going back to the party/bringing Liam to try to set her sister up to cheat on Todd. She wishes she’d...
View ArticleSweet Valley Confidential Chapter 14, Part 2: Grandma’s Worst Birthday
Sweet Valley Confidential: Chapter 14 Picking up where we left off in the first half of the chapter, everyone is now seated for what is certain to be a horrendously awkward birthday dinner for grandma....
View ArticleThings are Great for Five Minutes: Beautiful Redemption Chapter 18:
Liis and Thomas are really happy the next morning, glad they’ve finally decided to pursue a relationship. Thomas says that he thinks their previous relationships didn’t work out because they weren’t...
View ArticleBeautiful Redemption Chapter 19: Travis and Abby’s Wedding, If You Pay Close...
This is a long one, y’all. You might want to save it for your lunch hour or something. Beautiful Redemption: Chapter 19 The only other real character of any importance turns out to be who’s at Liis and...
View ArticleSweet Valley Confidential Chapter 15: Jessica Contemplates her Relationship...
Todd and Jessica are furious with each other on the way home from the party. Jessica defends herself, saying she wasn’t flirting, she was just talking to Liam. They argue a little about whether they...
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