House of Night, Untamed Chapter 9 Zoey does a piss-poor job of recapping the conversation she and Aphrodite just had with Nyx: “Well, crap. Chaos and love are the same, but not. Neferet still has her powers, but she’s not listening to Nyx anymore. Oh, and she’s trying to wake up something dangerous. What does […]
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We Meet the Highest High Priestess: Untamed Chapter 9
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Erik Night Is Back Already: House of Night Untamed Chapter 10
House of Night: Untamed Chapter 10 After Neferet excuses herself from the meeting once Shekinah decides, you know, not to go to war, Zoey reflects on this with her usual keen insight: Was she nuts? Was that what was going on? Could the “darkness” Nyx warned me about be the darkness inside Neferet’s crazy mind? […]
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Important Phone Calls are Made: Life and Death Chapter 21
Life and Death Chapter 21: Phone Call The chapter titles are increasingly reflective of how dull the chapter’s content is. Now that I’m only writing about one chapter, I can focus on important details that have changed in the books. For instance, when Bella wakes up to the sound of Alice and Jasper talking, she finds […]
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Beau Escapes, Gets His S*** Rocked: Life and Death Chapter 22
Guess what! This is finally where stuff starts to get real different from the original Twilight. This might not be super interesting to you, but what if I told you that Beau gets significantly more mortally wounded than Bella? Life and Death Chapter 22: Hide-and-Seek After his phone call where the tracker vampire demands that Beau escape his protectors and […]
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The Lazy Reader’s Guide: December 8 – December 12, 2015
Life and Death Beau gets an intense phone call from the hunter. Beau has to ditch his vampire posse to meet up with the hunter…and immediately get the shit kicked out of him. Here’s what else you missed: For some reason Archie can’t hear Beau on the phone with the hunter…even though he’s just in […]
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Zoey Realizes Stark is Sexy: Untamed Chapter 11
House of Night, Untamed Chapter 11: After running into Erik, Zoey is feeling conflicted. I hated feeling like this. I’d caused Erik to break up with me, but I missed him. A lot. And I still liked him. A lot. Sure, he was acting like a butt right now, but he’d caught me having sex […]
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Zoey and Stark Are Already Making Out: House of Night Untamed Chapter 12
Untamed indeed! House of Night: Untamed Chapter 12 Stark is in the middle of a story about when he learned his special vampire power to “never miss” wasn’t quite what it seemed, which was broken up with a chapter break to seem more dramatic. Because apparently “I accidentally murdered someone” needed all the help it […]
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A Quick Update On Our Holiday Schedule
As you may have noticed, 2015 is winding down. We hope you’re all looking forward to spending some time with loved ones during the holiday season. The BBGT team (it sounds fancier than “Ariel and I”) is taking a bit of time off these upcoming weeks, and we wanted to let you know what you […]
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Beau’s A Vampire Now, I Guess: Life and Death Chapter 23
Life and Death Chapter 23: The Choice In Twilight the chapter title is “The Angel.” Contractually obligated joke: BEAU GETS TO HAVE A CHOICE BECAUSE HE HAS A PENIS, I GUESS. Bella drifts in and out of consciousness, and an “angel” (clearly Edward) keeps calling to her and pleading for her to wake up. Beau, on the other […]
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Beau Is Already A Vampire: Life and Death Chapter 24
By this point, Beau is a vampyre while Bella is not. This really just means that Stephanie Meyer wanted to wrap up her rewrite of Twilight, rather than commit to releasing cash grab rewrites of the whole series (better known in the industry as “The E. L. James”). So to briefly go over what happened in this […]
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The Lazy Reader’s Guide: December 14 – December 18, 2015
It’s the last lazy reader’s guide of 2015! House of Night: Untamed Here’s where we’re ending the year with House of Night. We’ll pick this up again when we come back to the blog on January 4th, so hopefully you can remember all the… intricate narrative arcs. Like Zoey talking to Stark, and Stark immediately dying. The Twins […]
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Beau is Basically the Best New Vampire Ever: Life and Death: Epilogue Part 1
Ah the holidays draw near as Life and Death draws to a close. I’m glad we can all ring in the new year without anything Twilight in our lives. Life and Death, Epilogue: An Occasion Part 1 At this point, Twilight and Life and Death are so different it seems pointless to even compare them since I can’t do a side-by-side reading. Seriously, […]
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Beau Assures Werewolves That This Is a Good Ending: Life and Death Epilogue Part 2
Today we finish the absurdly long epilogue to Life and Death: Twilight Reimagined, where Beau is meeting with werewolves that have never been in the story until now and serve no narrative purpose, just fanservice. Life and Death: Epilogue (continued) In the moments leading up to their meeting with the werewolves to try to convince them […]
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Matthew’s Favorite Music of 2015
How’s everyone enjoying their holidays? Are you excited for some off-brand fun from the half of BBGT who gets really, really obsessive about music? Probably! I listen to lots of music. You’d think that, because this is such a huge passion of mine, I would be all over doing the annual top ten albums post, but I […]
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Meet Two of Your Terrible Protagonists: Left Behind Chapter 1
Welcome to 2016 and our first post of Left Behind. Without further adieu, the show. Left Behind Chapter 1: We meet Rayford Steele who has no relation to Anastasia Steele, I presume…even though her father’s name, oddly enough, is also Ray… Rayford is a pilot, currently flying to London. Even though his mind should be ON THE […]
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They Haven’t Figured Out They Got Left Behind Yet: Left Behind Chapter 2
What’s everyone thinking of Left Behind so far? Is everyone enjoying the complete absence of vampires and dystopian governments thus far? Can anyone guess how many times I mistyped “Rayford” as “Raymond” in this post? It was many. Left Behind: Chapter 2 Now that we’re suddenly at the part of Left Behind where they get left behind, […]
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Stark is Dead, so Zoey Texts Heath: Untamed Chapter 13
If you need a refresher about what’s been going on in the wonderful world of House of Night: Untamed read our last Lazy Reader’s Guide to catch up. I sure needed to re-read it! Untamed Chapter 13 Right. So Stark died as he was introduced into the plot: abruptly. The Casts really really want us to mourn his death, so […]
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The Story Still Isn’t Sure You’re Paying Attention: House of Night Untamed Chapter 14
There is EXCITING BLOG NEWS at the end of this post! WHATEVER COULD IT BE? Who forgot what’s happening in House of Night over the break? Who usually forgets what’s happening in House of Night because there’s so little going on regardless? House of Night: Untamed Chapter 14 Zoey kicks off the chapter with a quick, quirky reminder […]
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The Lazy Reader’s Guide: January 4 – December 8, 2016
It’s the first lazy reader’s guide of 2016! Apparently you’re already behind. It’s ok. That’s what this post is here for. Left Behind This year we started Left Behind, which Wikipedia describes as a book about the “Christian dispensationalist End Times: the pretribulation, premillennial, Christian eschatological viewpoint of the end of the world”. Which is a lot […]
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Buck’s Editor is a Moron: Left Behind Chapter 3
I am going to open this post with an important question: Why do bodies disappear during the rapture? I thought it was more of a spirit/soul thing than a physical one? But during this chapter there’s mention that corpses are disappearing too, which made me wonder why all bodies, living or dead, disappear. Google provided […]
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