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A GIRL Can’t Carry a BOY? False Alarm, Guys, Sexism is Still at Large!: Life and Death Chapters 5 & 6

November 11, 2015, 9:01 pm
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Sometimes when trying to convey the same thing is happening in both books, I will call Bella/Beau the Bs and Edward/Edythe the Es. Just to save some space when I’m going to compare something that happens soon. Chapter 5: Blood Type People attempting to be friends with Beau are planning a beach trip! Their desire to […]
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Beau Almost Gets Murdered, So Now We Know How That Part Gets Gender-Swapped: Life and Death Chapter 7 and 8

November 12, 2015, 9:01 pm
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Life and Death Chapter 7: Nightmare Beau gets home and has another symbolic dream. I’m starting to notice a pattern. “Run, Beau, you have to run!” [Jules] whispered, terrified. “This way, Beau!” It was McKayla’s voice I heard now, calling from the thick of the trees […] And then Edythe stepped out from the trees. Jules […]
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The Lazy Reader’s Guide: November 9 – November 13, 2015

November 14, 2015, 12:38 am
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Here’s the rundown on what you might have missed in our posts this week, or if you just need a refresher before reading next week’s posts. Plus some misc links from around the web that might be of interest. Life and Death (AKA GENDER-SWAPPED TWILIGHT!!!!): This week in the world of Life and Death, sexism lived […]
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Awkward Introductions: House of Night, Untamed Chapter 3

November 15, 2015, 9:01 pm
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House of Night, Untamed, Chapter 3: Stark joins Zoey and pals for lunch, which goes as hilariously as you’d expect. “I think your dog is pretty,” Jack said, leaning around Damien to get a better look at Duchess. “I mean, she’s big, but she’s still pretty. She won’t bite, will she?” “Not if you don’t […]
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Nevermind, Aphrodite’s Not Normal Yet: House of Night Untamed Chapter 4

November 16, 2015, 9:01 pm
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Guess what? I’m on vacation visiting friends in Nashville! I have been in Nashville since my last post on Friday! If I found out you guys threw any crazy parties while I was gone, I’m gonna be so mad. House of Night: Untamed Chapter 4 Zoey goes to her room and finds Aphrodite already there, waiting […]
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Even MOAR Fifty Shades and Crossfire News

November 18, 2015, 12:41 am
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Fifty Shades Movie News: I had heard the rumor that Jamie Dornan’s wife didn’t want him filming Fifty Shades anymore, and according to this random site I found, people thought this was because his wife was worried he had feelings for Dakota Johnson. HAHHAHAHAHHAA. If that was true, someone needs to just show her this gif: I […]
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So Many Interrogations, So Little Time: Life and Death Chapters 9 & 10

November 18, 2015, 9:01 pm
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Life and Death Chapter 9: Theory Beau and Edythe continue discussing her supernatural abilities as she drives recklessly. At least in this story a woman can be a confident and dangerous driver who frets about her love interest driving his own car. Feminism on full display here, folks. Edythe admits she was able to locate Beau […]
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Beau Pretends He’s In A Soap Opera And This Was Apparently Necessary For The Gender Swap: Life and Death Chapter 11 and 12

November 19, 2015, 9:01 pm
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Life and Death Chapter 11: Complications Beau and Edythe sit through another movie in the dark and science class and feel “more aware” of each other “like an electrical current” just like last time, which has got to be the actual laziest metaphor I’ve ever read in my life. Later in gym class, McKayla doesn’t approve. “You […]
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The Lazy Reader’s Guide: November 16-November 20, 2015

November 21, 2015, 3:00 am
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I’m doing our Lazy Reader’s Guide this week! That thing where we quickly sum up the chapters we read this week and share any extra fun stuff that’s been going on. Speaking of fun stuff that’s going on, just wanted to throw out the idea that, I dunno, the holidays are coming up, and maybe […]
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‘Ah, Hell’ is Zoey’s New, Awful Catch Phrase: House of Night, Untamed Chapter 5

November 22, 2015, 9:01 pm
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Zoey’s just received alarming news that her death might bring about a horrific war between vampires and humans. Death! Destruction! A world where Zoey ceases to exist and no one has the chance to be one of her many boyfriends! The horror. At least it’s the perfect time to for an unfunny Zoey to try […]
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Zoey Only Just Figured Out That The Villain Has Evil Plans: House of Night Untamed Chapter 6

November 23, 2015, 9:01 pm
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Aphrodite and Stevie Rae continue to fight over which one is Zoey’s biggest BFF for the third goddamn chapter in a row. Coincidentally, we just put up an exclusive post for our Patreon backers about why we hate Zoey, but we love to hate Sweet Valley High‘s Jessica. Why is that? House of Night: Untamed Chapter 6 […]
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Bad Romance Advice, Good Times: Meeting Your Partner’s Family During the Holidays

November 24, 2015, 9:01 pm
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Your Tango’s 9 Essential ‘Meet The Family’ Tips For This Thanksgiving The holidays can be a stressful time – especially when you’re meeting your significant other’s family for the first time! Luckily, Your Tango‘s got you covered with “9 Essential ‘Meet The Family’ Tips For This Thanksgiving.” And Bad Books, Good Times has you covered […]
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It’s Still Creepy When a Vampire Girl Watches a Human Boy Sleep, SEXISM IS OVER AGAIN!: Life and Death Chapters 13 & 14

November 25, 2015, 9:01 pm
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Happy Thanksgiving to our American readers! Apologies for this post being a bit briefer and less thorough than usual. These chapters really dragged on, and were just full of exposition! Actually, maybe a ‘your welcome’ is in order for keeping this shorter than normal! Life and Death Chapter 13: Confessions Beau watches Edythe sparkle in […]
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Beau Meets The Parents: Life and Death Chapters 15 and 16

November 26, 2015, 9:01 pm
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Happy Black Friday! Somebody make sure I don’t buy myself a pair of headphones I don’t need. Ok? I read Twilight for you guys. You can do this one for me. Life and Death Chapter 15: The Cullens After their hiking/sparkling date, the Es have just secretly slept over with the Bs. (In a totes-non-sexual way. This […]
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The Lazy Reader’s Guide: November

November 28, 2015, 1:06 am
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  Life and Death Edythe and Beau have a date where they profess their love, and Edythe vampiresplains everything. Then, Beau meets Edythe’s family because despite how long and boring this book is, things also move at an inexplicably rapid pace. Here’s what else you missed: We find out backstory about Edythe’s family members. Edythe gives […]
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Aphrodite Solves Zoey’s Friendship Crisis in Under a Minute: Untamed Chapter 7

November 29, 2015, 9:01 pm
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In case you’re feeling behind on Untamed, you can read this week’s Lazy Reader’s Guide to get up to speed. House of Night, Untamed Chapter 7: Damien tells Zoey that he and the rest of their friends want to talk. Of course, all the twins have to contribute is nasty comments to Aphrodite. “And we’re glad to […]
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Nyx Is The Worst Goddess Ever: House of Night Untamed Chapter 8

November 30, 2015, 9:01 pm
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HOW IS IT DECEMBER? I’ve only done like 1/6 of my new years resolutions. House of Night: Untamed Chapter 8 We pick up directly from the end of the last chapter, learning that Aphrodite is concerned that mysteriously changing back into a human also means that she’s lost her affinity for earth. “I can help […]
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IT HAS NOW BECOME LIFE OR DEATH: Life and Death Chapters 17 & 18

December 2, 2015, 10:00 pm
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Chapter 17: The Game Kill me. It’s the chapter where they play baseball. For those of you who stood by us while we read The Host, you may recall we had to read about their cave soccer matches. Why does Meyer feel she has to include descriptions of people playing sports in her stories? BUT FIRST. […]
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The World’s Most Boring Vampires Are Hunting Beau: Life and Death Chapters 19 and 20

December 3, 2015, 9:01 pm
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Previously in Twilight/Life and Death, new characters showed up and immediately wanted to kill the narrator. Then they all ran away, and are now playing hide and go seek tag. Life and Death Chapter 19: Goodbyes Beau and Edythe go to Charlie’s house to pack, as part of their plan involves Archie and Jessamine taking Beau […]
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The Lazy Reader’s Guide: November 30 – December 4, 2015

December 5, 2015, 7:20 am
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Here’s today’s lazy reader’s guide! Are we implying that if you’re not reading our blog on the regular, you’re lazy? Noooooooooo Life and Death Life and Death finally lives up to its name as another group of vampires shows up in town and immediately decides that Beau must die, resulting in… entirely off-camera action while […]
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