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The Book Asks Us To Pretend That Rayford Isn’t Already Way Into God Now: Left Behind Chapter 12

February 8, 2016, 9:01 pm
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Left Behind: Chapter 12 Before the news of his death gets out, Buck reaches out to his family and colleagues. As you might have imagined from our short time with Buck and/or the typical quality of writing in Left Behind, Buck does not handle this particularly tactfully. “I’m really sorry about this, Dad, but you’re […]
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Read Matthew Over At Kill Screen

February 9, 2016, 9:01 pm
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Good news for everyone upset that there’s no new Bad Books, Good Times on Wednesday: my first freelance piece for Kill Screen is published! It’s about a surrealist, meditative video game called Kentucky Route Zero and the guided meditation app Headspace, seeing if there’s any actual connection between the practice of meditation and games described […]
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Zoey and Friends Begin Their Close Reading of the Prophecy From Aphrodite’s Vision: Untamed Chapter 23

February 10, 2016, 9:01 pm
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If you can’t remember what happened last week, you’re in luck! The Lazy Reader’s Guide can help. House of Night, Untamed, Chapter 23: Everyone agrees on things that are super obvious if you’ve even been paying cursory attention to this story. Aphrodite’s visions are warnings. Nyx is guiding our heroes. The events in Aphrodite’s visions […]
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Zoey’s Friends Are Still Trying To Read A F***ing Poem: House of Night Untamed Chapter 24

February 11, 2016, 9:01 pm
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Yes, we are on our fourth straight chapter of Zoey and co. trying to understand the prophecy that Aphrodite received in a vision. This is how slow this fucking book is. House of Night: Untamed Chapter 24 Damien reads the second stanza and the couplet at the end of the poem again. This part: Through the hand […]
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The Lazy Reader’s Guide: February 8-12, 2016

February 13, 2016, 7:41 am
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In news that is always as exciting as it is dreadful, we’re over the halfway point with both of these books now! We’re going to do some polls in the near future, but what are your thoughts about us reading the sequels to either of these books next? We want your feedback! Left Behind Rayford and […]
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SUPER EMERGENCY VALENTINE’S DAY BULLETIN!!!!

February 14, 2016, 3:14 am
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You guys. Everyone. Look. DO YOU SEE THE GINORMOUS “SLYVIA DAY” TEXT???? One With You. It’s here. I know Matthew mentioned we’re halfway through our current books and that maybe we’ll do another House of Night right away or maybe Jamie McGuires sci-fi romance. These are delightful options, but I don’t want to wait months to do the latest Crossfire. I […]
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What Dogs Are The Fifty Shades Movie Cast?

February 14, 2016, 7:01 am
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There’s a new website called what-dog.net spreading through the internet right now, which attempts to identify the breed of a dog in any picture you give it. Naturally, the internet has unanimously decided to only upload photos of people with it to see what happens. So you get the idea. I gave what-dog.net a photo of myself, […]
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Rayford Finds Another Reason to Tell Us He’s Not Interested in Hattie Anymore: Left Behind Chapter 13

February 14, 2016, 9:01 pm
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Apparently yesterday was a huge day for Matthew and myself. One With You is coming out April 5th, so that could be the next book one or both of us reads for the blog. Matthew decided to see what happened when he put Fifty Shades Darker actors/characters into what-dog.net. But I guess if you came here to read about Left […]
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Carpathia Still Has Like No Dialogue: Left Behind Chapter 14

February 15, 2016, 9:01 pm
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Left Behind: Chapter 14 This chapter drops us right into the middle of one of my biggest problems with Left Behind. The book’s message is that literally no part of who you are matters unless you’re a “true Christian*”, and then it spends apparently 16 books defining that asterisk. So then by definition, that should mean that the people […]
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FINALLY Someone Points Out That Zoey/Loren Was Wrong: Untamed Chapter 25

February 17, 2016, 9:01 pm
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Untamed Chapter 25: Zoey goes to speak to Shekinah and somehow winds up alone in the night (well, Nala is there too for some reason), surrounded by Raven Mockers. I understood why they were called mockers of ravens because, even though you could easily mistake them for regular birds, if you listened just a little […]
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Zoey And Erik Have A Mostly Mature Conversation: House of Night Untamed Chapter 26

February 18, 2016, 9:01 pm
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It’s that time again. We’ve only got about another month of House of Night: Untamed. This will mean we’ve read four House of Night books, two of them in succession just now. Should we keep going? House of Night: Untamed Chapter 26 Zoey is a bit more nervous about her meeting with the highest of high priestesses […]
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The Lazy Reader’s Guide: February 15 – 19, 2016

February 20, 2016, 3:21 am
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Left Behind: For unfathomable reasons, Rayford tells Chloe that he’d been attracted to Hattie, nothing had happened between them, he totally doesn’t want to bang her now, but he does want to make her a proper Christian. Great, plan, buddy. Also, Buck meets Carpathia, and he barely says a word. But he is totally amazing, Left Behind swears. Left […]
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Carpathia is Named Sexiest Man Alive and Definitely is Not the Antichrist: Left Behind Chapter 15

February 21, 2016, 9:01 pm
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This has been my favourite chapter of Left Behind to write about so far. Today is my birthday, so some might say it was a birthday gift from Left Behind to me. Left Behind Chapter 15 Buck listens to a voicemail from Hattie. She wants to grab a drink with him in New York sometime. “So who’s […]
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Buck Makes A Deal With The Antichrist, I Guess: Left Behind Chapter 16

February 22, 2016, 9:01 pm
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Spoiler warning? I still don’t know if we’re actually supposed to know if Carpathia is the antichrist yet. I mean, it could not be more obvious, but this is a book about the Rapture that had to tell us crime was happening rather than show us any crime to convince us that it was the […]
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Now It’s Time to Recap the Plot to Grandma!: Untamed Chapter 27

February 24, 2016, 9:01 pm
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House of Night, Untamed, Chapter 27: Everyone is excited to see Grandma Redbird, and Jack gets to meet her for the first time! While everyone else fusses over Zoey and her scary brush with the Raven Mockers, Jack makes an excellent first impression: “I’m fine.” I threw a furtive look to where Jack was babbling […]
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Grandma Is Already In A Coma: House of Night Untamed Chapter 28

February 25, 2016, 9:01 pm
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I don’t know much about search engine optimization, so I’m super sorry if this post title pulls in some very misdirected searches. House of Night: Untamed Chapter 28 Five chapters ago, Zoey’s grandma filled her in about the series’ new bad guys that attack people close to death and joked that, haha, good thing she isn’t close to death. Just […]
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The Lazy Reader’s Guide: February 22-26, 2016

February 26, 2016, 9:01 pm
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Left Behind In the increasingly “this is about the rapture?” Left Behind, the antichrist is named the sexiest man alive. He also tells the secret society running the whole world to call of its hit on Buck while telling Buck he totally doesn’t have any connections with them. Buck learns that the British government is trying to frame […]
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Carpathia is Definitely Not the Antichrist, Wink Wink: Left Behind Chapter 17

February 28, 2016, 9:01 pm
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Left Behind Chapter 17 Rayford and Chloe continue to be sad. Chloe hints that she’s thisclose to accepting Christ, and I find it very hard to get behind her “journey” given 1) Chloe’s decision is all from Rayford’s perspective 2) This book is this book. 3) We already know what the right choice is in this […]
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I Guess Steve’s A Bad Guy Now: Left Behind Chapter 18

February 29, 2016, 9:01 pm
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Left Behind: Chapter 18 Left Behind accidentally sums up its recent events a little too well. “Did you hear about those kooks at the Wailing Wall?” Steven said. “Like I’m interested in that right now,” Buck said. It’s like even Left Behind is having a hard time caring about the events of Left Behind. Buck and Steve […]
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Do You Believe in Magic in an Old Nun’s Heart?: Untamed Chapter 29

March 2, 2016, 9:01 pm
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Fair warning, this is a real snooze-fest of a chapter. House of Night, Untamed Chapter 29 Zoey sends Aphrodite and Darius back to school, but promises that Darius can drive her back later, “even though the school was less than a mile down the street, and it would be mega-easy for me to walk back.” […]
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