House of Night: Untamed Chapter 30 Zoey tries call Stevie Rae to bring yet another character up to speed on the events of the last few chapters, but thankfully Stevie Rae doesn’t pick up. Thankfully for us, I mean. This will unquestionably have dire consequences for Stevie Rae and Zoey. Darius arrives at the hospital […]
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Ominous Chapter Is Ominous: House of Night Untamed Chapter 30
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The Lazy Reader’s Guide: February 29 – March 4, 2016
Left Behind We get a pretty clear roadmap of what horrors the post-rapture world is in for. Then Steve accepts a job as Carpathia’s press secretary, and Buck is going to take over his job as the head of the Weekly. Everyone is still convinced that Carpathia couldn’t possibly be the antichrist despite the fact […]
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I Think I Understand Roughly 5% of the Plot: Left Behind Chapter 19
Left Behind Chapter 19: Rayford is still stressed that he might not be able to convince Chloe to accept Christ. He doesn’t want to be annoying, but he really really wants to save her. I’m starting to feel a little bad for how exasperated I feel when Jehova’s Witnesses somehow get into my apartment building and urgently […]
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Buck and Chloe Sitting in a Tree: Left Behind Chapter 20
T-A-L-K-I-N-G. What? Did you think I was suggesting they hook up in this chapter? In this book? Goodness. Leave room for Jesus. Left Behind: Chapter 20 Rayford and Chloe arrive at the hotel that Buck and Hattie are at, hopefully finally tying these two increasingly disparate stories into a sensible whole. Although “sensible” doesn’t really seem to […]
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The Ritualiest Ritual of Them All: Untamed Chapter 31
House of Night, Untamed, Chapter 31: I never thought I’d be typing these words, but we actually haven’t experienced the joys of a House of Night ritual in ages. I’m happy to report, this chapter is all ritual all the time, and it’s the craziest one yet. Shekinah comes over to talk to Zoey, and checks in on her […]
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No One Is Paying Attention To The Climax: House of Night Untamed Chapter 32
It’s the penultimate chapter of House of Night: Untamed! Don’t be misled because the word “ultimate” was technically in there. Do not raise your expectations. House of Night: Untamed Chapter 32 The last chapter ended with Zoey’s surprise reveal of Stevie Rae and the other recently dead students as red fledglings, which they seemingly just calmly talked about […]
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The Lazy Reader’s Guide: March 7-11, 2016
It’s the Lazy Reader’s Guide on a SUNDAY! Everything’s gone MAD! Left Behind Ariel doesn’t understand Carpathia’s convoluted rise to power, and our main characters finally cross paths! Buck has a meeting with Bailey (his new boss) and Steve (his former boss who’s going to work for Carpathia and is already apparently evil). They talk about […]
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Buck Can’t Tell Rayford How He Feels: Left Behind Chapter 21
It’s the moment we’ve all be waiting for. Buck interviewing Rayford. This is the moment everything in this story has been leading up to. Buck was glad for the opportunity to interview Rayford Steele, but his emotions were mixed. The reactions of the captain who had piloted the plane on which he had been a […]
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Buck Is The Answer To Chloe’s Actual F***ing Prayers: Left Behind Chapter 22
We’re getting pretty close to the end of the first Left Behind, which is a series that apparently have like four hundred books in it. We’re not interested in reading all that. Ariel and I have been talking and making, but we’re curious what our readers want. Leave a comment if you have more to say […]
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Kalona is Extremely Sexy, So Zoey Will Probably Kind of Have a Crush on Him: Untamed Chapter 33 (Part 1)
The Casts really know how to undermine the intensity of a situation: The ground beneath my feet, soaked through with Stevie Rae’s blood, began to shudder, rippling like it was no longer solid earth but had suddenly turned to water. Through panicked cries, I heard Aphrodite’s voice again, as calm as if she was only yelling at […]
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They Escape, Things Continue To Be Bad: House of Night Untamed Chapter 33 (Part 2)
Today we read the second half of the last chapter of House of Night: Untamed! Just so we’re all clear on this, it is still unclear what in this story was actually the untamed part. House of Night: Untamed Chapter 33 (continued) The gang decides that shit is FUBAR’d, what with Neferet releasing rape Satan into […]
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The Lazy Reader’s Guide: March 14-18
This week we finished the fourth House of Night book, Untamed. And we’re two weeks away from the conclusion of Left Behind. I also watched the last Hunger Games movie last weekend, but that’s not relevant. Left Behind World-famous journalist Buck finally interviews Rayford about his take on the disappearances for some reason. Buck then stalks Chloe onto a plane […]
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TRIBULATION FORCE, ASSEMBLE!: Left Behind Chapter 23
Buck heads to Chicago to find a replacement for Lucinda Washington where he immediately finds the perfect candidate: News of his becoming their boss had swept the place, and he was greeted with coolness by Lucinda Washington’s former assistant, a young woman in sensible shoes. She told him in no uncertain terms, “Plank did nothing about […]
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No One Is Sure Who The Antichrist Is For A Chapter: Left Behind Chapter 24
It’s the second-last week of Left Behind! Guess how many times I’ve mistyped “Buck” as “Fuck” the last three months. Left Behind: Chapter 24 The penultimate chapter of this book about the rapture begins with its world-renowned journalist main character Buck “getting a head start on his article on the theory behind the disappeareances”, which happened […]
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No More Playing Around, Protagonists Have Sex in the First Chapter: Beautiful Redemption Chapter 1
YESSSSSSSS. Beautiful Redemption Chapter 1 We learn the most crucial facts about our new protagonist (except her name, but I checked the summary and it’s Liis) in the first paragraph: Control was all that was real. I had learned from a young age that planning, calculation, and observation could avoid most unpleasant things—unnecessary risk, disappointment, […]
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Meet The New BFF, Same As The Old BFF: Beautiful Redemption Chapter 2
Hopefully you enjoyed our surprise return to the world of Jamie McGuire’s Super Maddox Bros World yesterday! I thought Ariel did a great job remembering any details about Thomas that were hinted at in Beautiful Disaster and Beautiful Oblivion, because I sure as fuck didn’t. Beautiful Redemption: Chapter 2 First things first, there is NONE of that mysterious […]
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The Lazy Reader’s Guide: March 21 – 25
Left Behind Everyone is finally confident that Carpathia is the Antichrist (fucking finally), but then wonder, “but who, like, is actually the Antichrist?” Carpathia is basically made king of the world because everyone is obsessed with him. The motherfucking Tribulation Force assembles. Buck is 100% confident that this is the Rapture and really wants to be a […]
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S**t Gets Real, Book Manages to Remain Really Boring: Left Behind Chapter 25, Part 1
Left Behind Chapter 25, Part 1: Carpathia gathers his nearest and dearest to show off his favourite party trick – addressing people (or countries) one by one and saying the same thing in just a slightly different way. Only this time there’s a twist! He uses this rare and beautiful talent to fuck with some people’s […]
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The Antichrist Mind-Controls Everyone, This Is No Fun Anymore: Left Behind Chapter 25, Part 2
Previously in the last chapter of Left Behind, the antichrist has “Who me? Aw, shucks”-ed his way to a brand new political office in charge of the entire world. Despite devoting considerably more of its almost 500 pages to an intricate political thriller narrative than to, you know, the apocalpyse, it is not particularly clear how […]
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Got Left Behind By Left Behind? BBGT eBook Available Now!
Next week we’ll be leaving behind Left Behind (yes, this post will be nothing but jokes about the name “Left Behind”, so get ready). But first we thought we’d let you know that our eBook for Left Behind is already available on Amazon. I know, right?! That was super fast! We only finished reading that thing yesterday! And now […]
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