If you missed chapter one of Betrayed then I have no idea how you’re ever going to catch up. I mean there was parent teacher night at the vampyre school, Neferet told off Zoey’s step-dad, and then we found out Damien was gay. Whew, did you follow all that? If you did I guess you’re ready for this chapter!
Chapter 2
Zoey leaves parent teacher night, and for some reason decides that now is the time to go on and on about why they held the event late at night during vampyre class time (it’s after midnight, do you know where you’re interesting plot is?). [Matthew says: I like how this is where the Casts draw the line for having to explain a "because they're vampyres" thing, as opposed to how an actual subplot of the first book was Zoey feeling like people would judge her for drinking blood.]
Because there is no end to the thrilling things that go on in Zoey’s mind, she starts thinking about her “almostboyfriend.” [Matthew says: Oh my god, Zoey, what the hell does it take to advance from "almostboyfriend" to "boyfriend"?] The one and only Erik Night. Matt has pointed out a few times that it’s really unclear how we’re supposed to feel about Erik. At this point I feel like he’s a cross between Blando from Beautiful/Walking Disaster and Edward from Twilight. He’s a really boring, attractive vampyre who has yet to go totally apeshit on anyone.
But I bet you’re all wondering where the “delicious” Erik is right now and why Zoey hasn’t had that awkward “is-it-time-to-meet-the-almostboyfriend’s-parents moment”.
He was away from the school for the yearly Shakespeare monologue competition.
Oh, right he’s an actor. Well, at least he’s not off participating in a wannabe Fight Club or something. Unless of course the Shakespeare monologue competition is won only by physically destroying your opponent after delivering an intense Shakespearean monologue. [Matthew says: Also, take a moment to think about why it might make sense to have Erik Night, the primary love interest, suddenly be absent at the very beginning of book #2. Think about, I dunno, other YA books about vampires with questionably-desirable female leads. You know, for reference.]
Zoey finally tells us exactly how we’re supposed to feel about Erik. Not only this, but she reveals who some other famous vampyres are, just in case you weren’t satisfied that Kenny Chesney was a famous vamp. To top it all off, Zoey reminds us just how not homophobic and progressive she is!
He was tall, dark, and handsome— like an old-time movie star (without the latent homosexual tendencies). He was also incredibly talented. Someday soon he was going to join the rank of other vamp movie stars like Matthew McConaughey, James Franco, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Hugh Jackman (who is totally gorgeous for an old guy). Plus, Erik was truly a nice guy—which only added to his hotness.
Well, I’m sold, you guys. Erik Night is one hot hunk of teenage vampyre.
It seems like the plot of this book may be whether or not Erik wins this competition and becomes the next James Franco. [Matthew says: I'm pretty sure the Casts have no idea who James Franco is.] Sidenote: did anyone else watch the Veronica Mars movie? This clip spoils nothing at all, but it’s in the film!
Just when we thought Aphrodite couldn’t become an even more sympathetic character despite the books efforts to prove otherwise, Zoey witnesses Aphrodite’s cliche rich & disapproving & disappointed parents telling her that she is super disappointing. [Matthew says: It's like we're fleshing out the villain into a complex character, except it's so predictable and hackneyed that the surprise is that we didn't actually know this.]
You know Aphrodite’s mom is a bitch because, “Every time she gestured with her hands the gihugic pear -shaped diamond on her ring finger flashed a light as cold and beautiful as her voice.” I didn’t realize that flashing a cold light was a thing, but that was a really nice try Casts. It was almost a line as cold, gihugic and pretty as Aphrodite’s mom’s voice.
“Have you forgotten that your father is the mayor of Tulsa?” [That sounds like...a minor success? All my knowledge of Tulsa comes from reading The Outsiders, so I'm assuming he's a total soc. Bellomy will get this joke at least if no one else does.] Aphrodite’s mom snapped viciously.
“No, no, of course not, Mother.”
Her mom didn’t seem to hear her. “Spinning a decent slant on the fact that you’re here instead of on the East Coast preparing for Harvard was difficult enough, but we consoled ourselves with the fact that vampyres can attain money and power and success, and we expected you to excel in this”—she paused and grimaced distastefully—”rather unusual venue. And now we hear that you’re no longer leader of the Dark Daughters and have been ejected from High Priestess training, which makes you no different than any of the other riffraff at this wretched school.”
God, Aphrodite, if you’re going to be a total weirdo at least be the head of the weirdos. Haven’t your parents taught you anything? Your father is the mayor of Tulsa! TULSA DAMN IT. Do her parents even understand what the Dark Daughters do? From what I can tell, it just involves a bunch of useless rituals and sneaking into museums to accidentally summon zombie vampyre ghosts. It really doesn’t seem to have anything to do with fame and success as all the famous people seem to be vampyres who were presumably not all head of the Dark Daughters or Sons.
[Matthew says: Here's what honestly confuses me the most about House of Night. Half the time vampyres are like lepers (it negatively effects someone's abilities to go to a prestigious school), but then the other half of the time vampyres are the most valued members of society (people keep looking up to vampyre celebrities like (ugh) Kenny Chesney and James Franco). What is the deal here? This isn't remotely consistent and changes whenever the Casts need it to be convenient. Everybody loves former vampyre presidents JFK and Teddy Roosevelt! Too bad WASHINGTON HATES VAMPYRES. Everybody loves vampyre astronauts John Glenn and Neil Armstrong! Too bad SPACE HATES VAMPYRES.]
Just in case this wasn’t being laid on thick enough,
“As usual, you disappoint us,” her father repeated.
Ouch.
Aphrodite points out that her father already said this, so her mother slaps her and then tells her not to cry because tears are for the weak! The Casts clearly just copy/pasted all of this shit out of Bitchy Moms for the Cliche Soul.
Before I write in what Aphrodite says next, just remember that we’re supposed to hate her. We’re supposed to like Zoey more than her. When her parents tell her that they’ve been trying to convince Neferet to make her head of the Dark Daughters again, Aphrodite responds with this:
“The other girl is a better leader than I am. I realized that on Samhain. She deserves to be head of the Dark Daughters. I don’t.”
Even though I strongly disagree, I still think this shows that Aphrodite is 1000 times better than Zoey at life.
“Get the new girl out of the way, and Neferet will be more likely to give you back your position.”
Ah, crap. “The new girl” was me. [Gasp!]
“Discredit her. Cause her to make mistakes, and then be sure it’s someone else who tells Neferet about them and not you. It’ll look better that way.”
So is this going to be the plot of the book? Watching Aphrodite try to follow her parents’ orders while Zoey tries to… avoid being discredited? I really hope not. [Matthew says: Man, this would be like if the second Harry Potter book had a parent of his rival from the first book put a plan into motion that ruins Harry's reputation and the primary conflict is Harry just trying to not get discredited. Could you imagine? What if the Casts actually copied so many ideas from Harry Potter that they copied a low point like that too? It's crazy that House of Night totally came up with this boring plot all by itself!]
Aphrodite’s parents are also the reason she always tries to hide her visions because knowledge is power!
I couldn’t not use this gif again. It was just too tempting.
So because power is pizza, Aphrodite must now use her power to gain favor with Neferet again. Zoey is appalled by this!
Her mom and dad actually thought it was okay to keep quiet about information that could save lives. And her father was the mayor of Tulsa! (No wonder he looked familiar.)
Do you recognize this man?
This is the current Mayor of Tulsa and possibly Aphrodite’s father. How could he be capable of such terrible deeds!
Zoey is sad because now she sees Aphrodite in a whole new, more sympathetic light. Man, I hate when that happens!
Tagged: books, Excerpts, House of Night, Humor, vampyres, young adult fiction, Zoey Redbird
