We Meet the Highest High Priestess: Untamed Chapter 9
House of Night, Untamed Chapter 9 Zoey does a piss-poor job of recapping the conversation she and Aphrodite just had with Nyx: “Well, crap. Chaos and love are the same, but not. Neferet still has her...
View ArticleErik Night Is Back Already: House of Night Untamed Chapter 10
House of Night: Untamed Chapter 10 After Neferet excuses herself from the meeting once Shekinah decides, you know, not to go to war, Zoey reflects on this with her usual keen insight: Was she nuts? Was...
View ArticleImportant Phone Calls are Made: Life and Death Chapter 21
Life and Death Chapter 21: Phone Call The chapter titles are increasingly reflective of how dull the chapter’s content is. Now that I’m only writing about one chapter, I can focus on important details...
View ArticleBeau Escapes, Gets His S*** Rocked: Life and Death Chapter 22
Guess what! This is finally where stuff starts to get real different from the original Twilight. This might not be super interesting to you, but what if I told you that Beau gets significantly more...
View ArticleThe Lazy Reader’s Guide: December 8 – December 12, 2015
Life and Death Beau gets an intense phone call from the hunter. Beau has to ditch his vampire posse to meet up with the hunter…and immediately get the shit kicked out of him. Here’s what else you...
View ArticleZoey Realizes Stark is Sexy: Untamed Chapter 11
House of Night, Untamed Chapter 11: After running into Erik, Zoey is feeling conflicted. I hated feeling like this. I’d caused Erik to break up with me, but I missed him. A lot. And I still liked him....
View ArticleZoey and Stark Are Already Making Out: House of Night Untamed Chapter 12
Untamed indeed! House of Night: Untamed Chapter 12 Stark is in the middle of a story about when he learned his special vampire power to “never miss” wasn’t quite what it seemed, which was broken up...
View ArticleA Quick Update On Our Holiday Schedule
As you may have noticed, 2015 is winding down. We hope you’re all looking forward to spending some time with loved ones during the holiday season. The BBGT team (it sounds fancier than “Ariel and I”)...
View ArticleBeau’s A Vampire Now, I Guess: Life and Death Chapter 23
Life and Death Chapter 23: The Choice In Twilight the chapter title is “The Angel.” Contractually obligated joke: BEAU GETS TO HAVE A CHOICE BECAUSE HE HAS A PENIS, I GUESS. Bella drifts in and out of...
View ArticleBeau Is Already A Vampire: Life and Death Chapter 24
By this point, Beau is a vampyre while Bella is not. This really just means that Stephanie Meyer wanted to wrap up her rewrite of Twilight, rather than commit to releasing cash grab rewrites of the...
View ArticleThe Lazy Reader’s Guide: December 14 – December 18, 2015
It’s the last lazy reader’s guide of 2015! House of Night: Untamed Here’s where we’re ending the year with House of Night. We’ll pick this up again when we come back to the blog on January 4th, so...
View ArticleBeau is Basically the Best New Vampire Ever: Life and Death: Epilogue Part 1
Ah the holidays draw near as Life and Death draws to a close. I’m glad we can all ring in the new year without anything Twilight in our lives. Life and Death, Epilogue: An Occasion Part 1 At this...
View ArticleBeau Assures Werewolves That This Is a Good Ending: Life and Death Epilogue...
Today we finish the absurdly long epilogue to Life and Death: Twilight Reimagined, where Beau is meeting with werewolves that have never been in the story until now and serve no narrative purpose, just...
View ArticleMatthew’s Favorite Music of 2015
How’s everyone enjoying their holidays? Are you excited for some off-brand fun from the half of BBGT who gets really, really obsessive about music? Probably! I listen to lots of music. You’d think...
View ArticleMeet Two of Your Terrible Protagonists: Left Behind Chapter 1
Welcome to 2016 and our first post of Left Behind. Without further adieu, the show. Left Behind Chapter 1: We meet Rayford Steele who has no relation to Anastasia Steele, I presume…even though her...
View ArticleThey Haven’t Figured Out They Got Left Behind Yet: Left Behind Chapter 2
What’s everyone thinking of Left Behind so far? Is everyone enjoying the complete absence of vampires and dystopian governments thus far? Can anyone guess how many times I mistyped “Rayford” as...
View ArticleStark is Dead, so Zoey Texts Heath: Untamed Chapter 13
If you need a refresher about what’s been going on in the wonderful world of House of Night: Untamed read our last Lazy Reader’s Guide to catch up. I sure needed to re-read it! Untamed Chapter 13...
View ArticleThe Story Still Isn’t Sure You’re Paying Attention: House of Night Untamed...
There is EXCITING BLOG NEWS at the end of this post! WHATEVER COULD IT BE? Who forgot what’s happening in House of Night over the break? Who usually forgets what’s happening in House of Night because...
View ArticleThe Lazy Reader’s Guide: January 4 – December 8, 2016
It’s the first lazy reader’s guide of 2016! Apparently you’re already behind. It’s ok. That’s what this post is here for. Left Behind This year we started Left Behind, which Wikipedia describes as a...
View ArticleBuck’s Editor is a Moron: Left Behind Chapter 3
I am going to open this post with an important question: Why do bodies disappear during the rapture? I thought it was more of a spirit/soul thing than a physical one? But during this chapter there’s...
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