Meow-rijuana: Marked Chapter 17
Chapter 17 After Zoey is done puking, she runs off and winds up finding a cat. If you thought the authors of this book had trouble figuring out how teens speak, have a look at their cat-speak. Then,...
View Article(Long Sigh) Young Adult Fiction. Motherf***er. Also The Casts Mock Gay People...
So for some reason or another, Ariel and I are actually working on a “Proud Supporter of Blow Jobs” mug. Which basically means we’re struggling with how the hell to make such a thing in a way that is...
View ArticleBlando Gets the Shaft: Beautiful Disaster Chapter 10
Previously, Trabby had sex. Abby left in the middle of the night (effectively moving out of the Apartment of Contrived Bets) and Travis had an epic meltdown. Then Abby agreed to go on a date with...
View ArticleHow Much of This Book Can You Handle in One Day?: Beautiful Disaster Chapter 11
When we left off a few hours ago, Trabby confessed their love, Blando got his ass dumped, and Trabby made love. This time, though, Abby didn’t leave in the middle of the night. AWWWW. I bet nothing can...
View ArticleThe Story Gives Up, Decides Travis and Abby Are Dating Now: Walking Disaster...
Someone finally sent in a picture of their Bad Books, Good Times mug! Now I know what these damn things look like! My friend’s boyfriend sporting a Duality of Man mug in one hand, a cat in the other....
View ArticleBad Romance AND Life Advice, Good Times: A Simple Tweak To Help You Crush...
The other night, Matt linked me to Return of Kings, and informed me that it was quickly gaining traction in the world of angering feminists around the internet. If you shy away from the word feminist...
View ArticleMatthew Watches The Room #3: Lisa’s Mom Offers Romantic And/Or Financial Advice
As you may traumatically recall, Johnny and Lisa just had sex for a very long time. Johnny returns (FULLY CLOTHED!) to Lisa and asks, in his weirdly detached overdubbed voice, “Did you like last...
View ArticleMost of This Chapter is a Summary of the Previous Chapter Because There is No...
I hope you enjoyed the double dose of misogyny we provided yesterday! It wasn’t a planned theme; then again, when isn’t misogyny a theme? [Matthew says: Because of the patriarchy!] Chapter 19 When we...
View ArticleWe’re Kind Of Almost Done With This Book And Nothing Has Happened Yet: Marked...
Yeah, yeah, I’m working on that Proud Supporter of Blow Jobs mug, I promise. It’s a work in progress and I am hardly a professional. Chapter 20 Hopefully you liked the last chapter where Zoey just told...
View ArticleAbby Meets Travis’ Family and Secrets are Revealed!: Beautiful Disaster...
For a long time Matt and I have been discussing moving to a WordPress.org account so we have more control over the blog, but we haven’t been super confident with our ability to do that. Excitingly...
View ArticleSuddenly, Abby Is A World-Famous Poker Player: Walking Disaster Chapter 18
Not even kidding. [Ariel says: In blog news, I made a Google+ account for us. I think that's a thing people sometimes use. What I do know is that it's another way to follow us and tell Google that you...
View ArticleScenes We Really Don’t Want to See in the First Fifty Shades of Grey Movie
Even though its release is a year away (marking my calendar for 15 Feb 2015, yo), Matt and I have been giving a lot of consideration to the scenes that we’re really really not excited to see in the...
View ArticleErik Asks Zoey to Watch Star Wars: Marked Chapter 21
I almost didn’t write a recap on what happened last week in the magical world of Mean Vampyres, but then I realized if I can’t remember what happened last week, I can’t expect you guys to. [Matthew...
View ArticleZoey Doesn’t Have A Plan, Except She Has A Plan To Get A Plan, And Thus Plans...
Chapter 22 Zoey is filling in Southern Friend, Gay Friend, Black Friend, and I-Can’t-Remember-If-She-Has-Four-Friends Friend [Ariel says: Cheerleader! What's her face! So and So! The Ugly One!] on her...
View ArticleMcGuire Runs Out of Ideas for Book, Sends Characters to Vegas: Beautiful...
You might be thinking, “But wait, Ariel, your last post was about chapter thirteen.” Correct, astute reader, but that is actually not a typo. Because thirteen signifies the age Abby somehow stole all...
View ArticleI Guess This Is A Story About Gangsters In Las Vegas Now: Walking Disaster...
So get ready for that. Chapter 19: Daddy’s Home Jesus, Jamie McGuire really has the worst chapter titles. Want to know why this is such an awful chapter title? Of course you do, you’re reading this...
View Article“Secrets and Lies” (and No Sex): Cosmo Red-Hot Reads March 2014
We’re introducing a new monthly feature! Our friend Ellen has written for us a few times in the past, and suggested that we should start a feature about the Red-Hot Reads that appear in Cosmopolitan....
View ArticleMatthew Watches The Room #4: Lisa And Mark Are Either Starting Or Continuing...
A summary of the previous scene: Lisa: I don’t love my fiance and I don’t know what to do. Lisa’s Mom: You should love him. I have to leave now. Amazingly, that hasn’t proved very helpful for Lisa, who...
View ArticleI Wish They Were Going to Vegas Instead of Performing this Stupid Ritual:...
Previously, Zoey planned to get a plan and kept telling us how she absolutely must take Aphrodite down… because Nyx clearly bestowed her with amazing powers for this exact purpose. Really. Chapter 21...
View ArticleZoey Kisses A Boy And Immediately Slut Shames Everyone Involved: Marked...
Happy Valentine’s Day! Here’s a 2000-word rant about slut shaming! Chapter 24 Last chapter, Zoey cast a circle as part of her plan to get a plan by asking the goddess Nyx for help. Despite the goddess...
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